TWO TRUTHS about MEDIATION
As a psychotherapist of
more than 25 years experience dealing with couples and families, I've learned
two crucial truths about divorce:
MEDIATION IS A POSITIVE ALTERNATIVE
Divorcing couples usually
assume that there must be conflict between them. Often there is. But even
couples who have reached an angry impasse can benefit from divorce mediation.
Divorce mediation avoids finding fault and fixing blame. Instead, it is an educational process. Couples objectively analyze their needs and resources. By planning together, with the assistance of the mediator, they are able to reach an agreement that's best for both-financially, legally and emotionally.
Each party uses his and her own standards of fairness. So in the end both win because nobody loses.
WITH A MEDIATOR, COUPLES HAVE FREE CHOICE, NOT ARBITRARY JUDGMENTS
The mediator is an impartial
third party. Nothing is forced under mediation. Nor is anything mandated
by a judge except the final decree. The mediator:
Each person agrees to every point as it is considered. And by talking each issue through with the mediator, the couple finds solutions of their own choosing.
MEDIATION HAS A POSITIVE EFFECT ON CHILDREN
Studies have shown that
children fare better and adjust more readily with mediated agreements.
Under mediation, agreements are mutual concerning parenting (custody and visitation), which means that they are most often kept and are more readily re-negotiated when necessary rather than re-litigated.
MEDIATION AND THE LEGAL ISSUES
An advisory attorney is
consulted who provides information and guidance on legal matters.
FURTHER BENEFITS OF MEDIATION
Mediation combines Gloria Fraser's expertise in working with couples and families with an interest in law and skill in practical problem solving.
Trained as a psychotherapist with a B.A. in psychology and an M.S.W. from Smith College, Mrs. Fraser studies family therapy for four years at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine's Family Studies Section.
She has been in private practice in San Francisco since 1973. She has developed and run two family therapy programs as well as couples communication groups and groups for separating and divorcing individuals. Mrs. Fraser also consults and speaks on these topics.
Her formal mediation training was provided by the Family Mediation Association, which qualifies her a Fellow of the Academy of Family Mediators. She brings commitment to her work as a mediator, seeing mediation as an exciting, positive alternative method of resolving disputes between divorcing couples.